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It was an unusual case. Not because (as
was first thought) it turned up another strain of Spaggs' Syndrome, but
unusual in that it actually turned up something more far reaching, and
much more menacing to our modern societies.
In recent years, the human brain has
increasingly come under attack. And in cases where the human brain suddenly
begins to disappear from within the skull cavity, neurosurgeons had
gotten used to finding the tell-tale marks of Spaggs' Syndrome: a
condition where cerebrum matter literally begins melting away (much like
a blob of ice cream might do on a hot summer day), settling into and
seeping down through the layers of protective membrane, and finally draining out of the
body completely through the sinus cavities. In the course of a few weeks,
in victims of Spaggs' Syndrome, critical
gray matter is converted to a sticky green goo that's easily mistaken for
nasal mucus (common snot), and is often disposed of accordingly.
But this most recent case of a steel
construction worker in New York City was not like the others. Something
had gotten into the patient's brain cavity and was actually growing
inside as it ate away the brain. Not a solid mass like a tumor or
cancerous growth, but as
a hive of tiny creatures. In fact, it was soon shown that the disease
was no disease at all, but an infestation of tiny insects.
They were eventually identified as the ancient (and long
believed to be extinct) Norwegian Purple-Headed Blubber Munchers.
Such creatures had not been seen since the
high days of whaling off the Northern European coastlines. Devilishly ugly in appearance, the
semi-aquatic life forms are believed to have come aboard
the whaling vessels with the sea water. A bad infestation could wipe
out an entire cargo of whale's blubber before the whalers could get back
to port with their greasy treasure.
Of course, the present scenario seemed quite
impossible. How could such creatures be infesting
human brains here and now in the 21st Century? And why would a life form that
thrives on blubber be attracted to brain tissue? How could they have
evolved or mutated (or whatever) to such an extent so quickly?
Even though the infestation was a not a disease by classic definition,
the CDC undertook to solve the mystery.
Many weeks of hard work, and two very capable
doctors devoted to such research found the answers. Wishing to remain
anonymous, in order to avoid the media circus, these two scientists labored night and day to uncover the
mystery that had so shaken the medical community. And what they found
both relieved and chilled those who understood the far-reaching
implications.
The Purple-Headed Blubber Munchers had not
mutated or evolved (or whatever) in any way. They had not adapted
themselves to a new environment or changed their eating habits. They
still thrived only in blubber-rich environments. That was the good news
-- or so it seemed at first.
The bad news was that modern human brains
are apparently undergoing changes that would once have been thought
impossible. These changes were occurring in specific segments of populations in certain regions of the world.
The unfortunate changes
seemed to be occurring most frequently in subjects taken from those industrially and economically
established areas where formal education,
professional and corporate development, and leisurely living were widely spread among the populations.
"This is not a global mutation, but an
environmentally induced condition, seriously aggravated by the personal
lifestyles of the subjects we've been able to study," one of the doctors
stated in the published findings of the project.
The two researchers went on to explain their
theory in a video that also documented the stages of their work.
In summary, they found that human beings in most parts of the world are
not susceptible to the infestation because their brains have normal
levels of
fat content. And, according to the researchers, this would also explain
why previous generations of human populations never reported the
condition.
"Historically, life on earth is difficult,
placing huge demands on the human brain, as people were forced to struggle
mentally and physically just to survive," a narrator's voice says on the video,
as early scenes of tribal hunting parties in the wild are shown,
followed by scenes of ancient fishermen on the open sea, followed by the
image of a lone farmer, plodding along behind a plow that is pulled by
oxen. The video
then flashes back to the hunters who are attacked by the giant elk they are
hunting, and then eaten by the saber-toothed tigers who had been following
the elk. Another scene shows the relatively tiny boatloads of fishermen
capsized by huge waves in the angry sea, and then eaten by sharks who
had been waiting
around for just such an opportunity. Then we see the farmer and
oxen, as well as the sprouting crops, being overrun and trampled by a
band of barbarians on their way to raid the nearest city.
"Similar conditions continue today for most
human beings on the planet," the narrator continues, amid flashing
scenes of famine starved lands, war torn nations, villages without
water, and overcrowded refugee camps, followed by more scenes of
earthquake ravaged third-world cities, and mass graves being fed by
modern plagues in underdeveloped nations.
"But some people are more fortunate," the
voice says, "living lives of extravagant luxury, without a care in the
world." And the images switch to modern American and European cities
filled with wealthy people, pampered dogs, luxury automobiles, luxury
housing, luxury dining spots, movie houses, and electronic stores filled
from floor to ceiling with stereo equipment, computers, TVs with huge
screens, satellite TV and radio accessories, and so on.
These scenes are followed by others, of
people sleeping in over-sized beds, children sprawled for hours in front
of giant TV screens, whole families eating in front of home theater
systems, university classrooms where students are spoon-fed all the
ideas they will carry with them for the rest of their lives, and
flashing scenes of poodle parlors, pet cemeteries, plastic surgery
clinics that specialize in liposuction, abortion clinics, specialty
bakeries, sex arcades, shopping malls, slaughter houses busily processing
millions of chickens, pigs and cows, followed by scenes of surplus grain and
citrus crops being burned or dumped into the ocean, flashes of stock market action, and shots of
the U.S. Mint producing billions of dollars in paper money on high speed
presses.
"Essentially," the narrator continues, "the
conditions of highly developed societies in our modern age have produced
an environment where large percentages of the population no longer feel
the need
to use their minds. They accept whatever society is telling them, and
their notions are seldom challenged by life-threatening conditions.
Living lives of ease, they never feel the need to use their minds to explore
anything. The age of personal discovery is over.
"People today accept work in positions already developed and refined
by others, and they find housing through the usual channels. They have
plenty to eat, spend hours sitting in front of electronic sources of
entertainment, and never experience the need to use their minds for much
of anything.
"In summary, more and more people are
becoming fat heads, in the most literal and dangerous sense of that term." And the
screen reveals a white laboratory, where a row of ten seated men and
women (facing away from the camera) are covered in white wrappings, with
only their shaved heads exposed. The doctors (only their bodies below
the neckline are shown) walk from subject to subject, surgically
removing the top of each skull. One by one, the camera moves in for a
close-up of each brain. And in every case, the brain tissue has largely
been replaced by slabs of blubber.
The voice on the video says, "The
normal human brain makes use of complex fats and may contain more than
50% fat. But a normal brain has no simple fat, no blubber. The
brains in these subjects' heads have degenerated into pure blubber, as even the
untrained eye can see.
"These brains
have not yet been infested, but they're all susceptible to attack at
any time." And suddenly, right in front of the camera, a subject’s
blubbery brain begins wriggling and jiggling with activity, and a tiny
spot of purple on one side of the mass rapidly grows, as the fat in the
brain shrivels into nothing. In a matter of seconds, the entire brain
is gone, leaving a purple mass of gorged insects
that quickly spread out, in search of a new home and more food.
Chaos breaks out in the laboratory, as
technicians scramble to replace the tops of the other subjects' skulls
to stop the violent spread of the Purple-Headed Blubber Munchers. They succeed
in saving three of the subjects from immediate infestation. But the
narrator tells us that the blubbery condition of their brains still leaves
these subjects at high risk, regardless of the level of medical
intervention. With that, the video ends.
So there you have it. Now you know what I
know and what the world media was allowed to see last Thursday afternoon
at the CDC headquarters in Atlanta, Georgia. We were all given a copy
of the 6,546-page report, a copy of the video, a self-test kit (for
determining our own blubber-to-brain-mass ratio), and a pamphlet of
exercises that are thought to improve the overall health of brain
tissue.
And now you can also understand why the media has remained
largely silent about the new findings. Most of the attendees were so
sickened by the images and findings revealed at the conference that we've been unable to function well for the last three days. But now more
and more of us are finally coming around, and are trying to get the word
out.
But what can we say -- "Change your
lifestyle or die"? You see how well that message has worked with smoking,
overeating, drinking, drug abuse, bodily exercise, industrial pollution, the
use of drugs in livestock, the use of pesticides in crops, the personal use of
credit cards, the hoarding of our national wealth and resources while the rest of
the world perishes, and so on.
Even so, we in the media owe it to everyone
to get the word out. So here's my first installment for the
Arksonville Central
News. I hope to be around to produce the whole series. We'll
see.
My own test results
were not promising. Like most other "average" Americans, I've spent too
many years "going with the flow" of popular thinking and activity. But
I'm not dead yet, so there's still hope.
This Sunday, I'm taking my family to
church. I know I'll take a lot of flack from the other guys. I've
always prided myself on being so agnostic, "open-minded," and clever, so "above" those who believe in
God, in the power of faith, in the power of Jesus Christ. I've hung out
in the bars after work, laughing it up with the best of them. But the
little test kit says that I'm a fat head. I'm susceptible to infestation and
the terrible death that follows.
So I'm turning things around, right here and
now. I'm not going to drift with the flow anymore. I want to
use my brain, to use my whole mind and heart to search out the truth, to
discover the real Jesus Christ, the God of the
Bible. I'm not going along with all the popular garbage any longer.
No, there’s too much fat-headed thinking in the popular ideas offered by
our society.
And I found a promise in the Bible that gives me
some hope of achieving success.
God says, "For surely I know the plans I
have for you, says the LORD, plans for your well being and not for harm,
to give you a future with hope. Then when you call upon me and come and
pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me;
if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the
LORD, and I will restore your fortunes..." (Jeremiah 29:11-14)
The doctors at the conference also assured us that if we will
start using our brains again, and stop trying to simply coast through life, accepting
whatever feels good and whatever is easy, then we can reverse some of
the fat head condition of our brains.
So I’m finished with the "easy way
out" mentality. For too long, I’ve just taken the path of least
resistance, and tried for the popular vote. Whatever was in,
whatever everybody else was saying, that’s
what I wanted to be like. But truth is not so democratic. Reality
is not determined by the majority opinion.
So here I am. I’ve been give a choice: life or death.
I'm choosing life.
Jim
(This story is fictional, but the Scripture
promises, and the principles behind the story are not fiction. They
remain true from generation to generation.)
"Now, let the fear of the LORD be upon you;
take care what you do, for there is no perversion of justice with the
LORD our God, or partiality, or taking of bribes." (2 Chronicles 19:7)
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